Jean's Funeral

Order of service

Paul's eulogy: (the capitalized words in my talk have no special meaning. They are just there to help me focus in case I lost my train of thought.)

Read Obituary:

Our family has GATHERED to remember our sister, Jean, and we THANK her friends who have also come to SHARE this time with us. We come together today to COMFORT one another as we express our SORROW at her death, but we also want to CELEBRATE the wonderful life Jean had and remember the BLESSING she was to each of us.

We almost didn’t have Jean in our lives. Jean had a difficult time at her BIRTH. The doctors gave her only two weeks to live, but with her fighting spirit and a mother’s love for her child, she proved the doctors wrong. We all benefited from that as she became a part of our lives for the next 60+ years.

When I THINK OF JEAN; her JOYFUL spirit, her LOVE of family, her many CHILDLIKE qualities, I am REMINDED of a story that is almost 2,000 years old.

It is a small town in Israel and Jesus has spent the day ministering to the people and telling them about the kingdom of God. As the sun begins to set in the western sky, Jesus and his disciples pick up their meager belongings and begin the long walk to the next town. A group of women rush to Jesus with their children to have him bless them. The disciples try to push the people away. But Jesus says in Mark chapter 10:

“Let the little children come unto me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.”

Jesus now has Jean, with her many child-like qualities, in his arms.
What did Jesus mean by “us being like little children“? The apostle Paul gives us a clue when he lists the fruits of the spirit a MATURE Christian should have in Gal 5:22 . Not all, but many of these are qualities children have NATURELY and I think they are qualities that Jean never lost.

“But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

Jean did exhibit MANY of these childlike qualities that Jesus looks for in people. Despite her physical difficulties, she had a wonderful ability to live JOYOUSLY and at PEACE in the PRESENT. Her gentile, humble, and trusting SPIRIT was loved by all. She LOVED her family, she loved people and it would never occur to her to do HARM to anyone.

Last week, I was telling my 85 year old mother-in-law about Jean’s condition. Her first comment was “Jean always seemed so happy, and you know what? She made me happy too.” Jean truly brightened our days.

For those of you who knew Jean at the track. (OOOH how she loved going to the track.) When you saw her WALKING up to you, didn’t it just bring a smile to your face. You knew she was happy to see you and you were happy to see her. When Jean started walking the track, you better not interrupt her as she did her 36 laps (3 miles). 1, 2, 3, 4. I hear some of you even tried to mix her up as she counted the laps, but she remained focused as she completed the mission.

And BOB, as the next door neighbor, remember how you would tease Jean about the FOOTBALL game running late and interrupting 60 minutes. Jean really loved that good natured bantering with you. You were a good neighbor to her and I am sure she was a good neighbor to you.

Whenever we drove up from CONNECTICUT for a visit, Jean would immediately start asking us about our children. How are they doing? What are they learning in school? She wanted to be sure we didn’t leave any of them out of FAMILY ACTIVITIES. And she always seemed particularly concerned that our youngest, Kathy, was not left out. Jean knew the IMPORTANCE of families being together. What a JOY to be with.

Her situation required her to TRUST others. And I would like to take this moment and thank her sister Marge for being her primary caretaker over the last 13-14 years. It was so important to the other siblings that we knew Jean was being taken care of. We knew she was being fed and clothed, had a warm bed to sleep in, and made all her doctor appointments. Thank you for the sacrifices you made. And over the last several months, both of Jean’s sisters, Marge and Sue, have done a tremendous job of seeing that Jean was COMFORTABLE in these last days. You both did a great job and we appreciate the efforts you made. Thank you.

Jean’s love and faithfulness to her family are two of her great qualities. Periodically, Marge would take Jean to the gravesite of our mother and father. Jean would walk up to the graves, get down on her KNEES and begin talking to Mom and Dad. What a sweet tender moment. Jean would fill them in on all the family events since her last visit. The BIRTH of new babies, high school GRADUATIONS, WEDDINGS, people moving to new HOMES, yes, and even telling them Marge was FORGETTING to take her medicine. If you want an EXAMPLE of how God wants us to talk to him in prayer, look at the conversation Jean had at the gravesite. We LEARN so much from Jean’s childlike qualities.

And now if others would like to share some thoughts please come.

Susan's thoughts:

Before I read Karen remembrances of Jean, I would like to take a few moments to honor Jean‘s mother and father, Mary and James MacDonald. They are the ones who set the example for Jean’s siblings to make sure that she was well cared for after they were gone. They advocated for Jean to be able to as full a life as she was able before that was common wisdom. They made sure she had the resources necessary to live up to her full potential. They made sure she was included in all family activities. Jean wasn’t hidden her away in an institution, and they weren’t ashamed of her because of her limitations. I remember her mother fighting for Jean’s social security checks, making sure she was educated, and making sure she participated in all the social and work events that she was able. Jean took great satisfaction in her work. James and Mary stressed the importance of family. As we gather together today as a family to celebrate Jean’s life, let’s continue gathering together for family events: picnics, weddings, and funerals, creating lasting memories for our children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews.


Karen's thoughts:

Aunt Jean's Gifts
As I reflect on my relationship with my Aunt Jean, I appreciate that she gave me several gifts. I will treasure these gifts and hope to pass them along to my children.
Her first gift was that of a warm welcome. I have many memories of visiting my father's family in South Portland, Maine. Aunt Jean was an important person during those visits. Our family drove up to the house in our red and white suburban that towed a green and white Nomad trailer. The four kids were road weary and grouchy…until we saw Aunt Jean walking down the front porch steps. She provided a warm welcome that signaled we were done traveling and it was time for visiting and fun. Aunt Jean was always first to greet and hug us. Jean's gift of a warm welcome will remain one of my favorite childhood memories.
Aunt Jean showed me how to take joy in the daily routines. She lived her life with a great appreciation for routine. I have fond memories of Aunt Jean talking about the Merv Griffin show. I remember that the coffee had to be brewing by a certain time so that it would be ready for the Merv Griffin show. She drank her coffee at the same time each day while watching a familiar face interviewing favorite celebrities. The routine was not followed because it was a rule or because she felt she had to do it - she simply loved the routine and found joy in it! Aunt Jean probably watched every single episode of the Merv Griffin Show. It ran for 23 years. That's 5,500 shows and 25,000 interviews. Aunt Jean stayed up all night watching the Jerry Lewis Telethon every year and called in and gave her own personal contribution. Aunt Jean found joy in her daily rituals.
Aunt Jean rarely altered those routines. If it was Merv Griffin time, we knew where to find her. If it was time for her phone call from her friend, Colleen, we knew where to find her. But, once in awhile, she altered that routine for her family. Her next gift was being present in our lives. Jean's family and extended family were important to her. She knew what was going on with us. She kept up with news about Jim's bike shop, news of Amy's marathons, Kathy's cows, and my genealogy projects. She was also willing to break away from her routines to attend important family events. I appreciated Aunt Jean's presence at my wedding. She crossed two state borders, driving four hours with her sisters, Marge and Sue. Aunt Jean agreed to alter her routines, and even leave the state for a day, because she cared about me.
Aunt Jean kept track of her nieces' and nephews' babies, too. She knew their birth dates, their ages, and the day of the week they were born. She met the challenge of keeping up with Paul's grandchildren as twelve arrived in the space of five years. I felt honored when Aunt Jean held my chunky little Meg baby at the Pennsylvania Family Reunion. It felt special that Aunt Jean held each newborn baby as it was added to her extended family. First, she held her nieces and nephews, Jim, Karen, Amy, and Kathy. We all have a photograph of Aunt Jean holding us when we were newborns. And as we grew older, many of us were able to take photographs of Aunt Jean holding her great-nieces and great-nephews. Aunt Jean's gift to me was the way she held me as a baby and the way she held my babies. I'll always remember her visit with us at the Pennsylvania Family Reunion. How Jean must have loved the Kidsgrove playground, hearing the sounds of her extended family, age six and under, playing together.
Aunt Jean altered her routines more than once for me. She always found time for a visit when I passed through South Portland. In 1997, I upset the family routines by gathering everyone together so I could learn about life growing up in Jim and Mary MacDonald's family. All of Papa Jim and Grammy MacDonald's kids gathered around Uncle Jim and Aunt Linda's kitchen table to swap stories. Aunt Jean joined her siblings, remembering, teasing, laughing, and joking. She shared her favorite memory with me about an afternoon with her mother, my grandmother. Jean and her mother often took trips down East to Machias, Maine. One day they stopped at Perry's NutHouse and had a picnic there. Aunt Jean thought it was hilarious to have a picnic behind the Nut House. We honored the memory of Jim and Mary as we shared memories, and it's certain Jean was proud of that.
Aunt Jean laughed often. My last evening with Aunt Jean was Cousin Ben's wedding to Courtney. I remember her excitement, her laughter, and best of all, I remember that she danced. Her dance card was full with my dad, my uncle, and others. Aunt Jean was a lot of fun!
Aunt Jean, I thank you for your gifts of warm welcomes, joyful routines, holding my babies and keeping family close to your heart. Thanks for sharing your laughter and dancing during the great moments in life.

brother Jim's thoughts: Don't have them in writing

Keith and Deana sang the following:

Paul continues:

Give us solace, give us peace, Jesus promised us a comforter, the holy spirit, would come after he was crucified and ascended into heaven. He also promised us peace in John chapter 14 verse 27.

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

He has given us solace and peace. A wonderful song, Keith. Thank you.

Hebrews chapter 12 talks about a great CLOUD of witnesses who are looking down on us. I have an image of a huge STADIUM filled with these witnesses and they are cheering us on as we compete in a race and they are encouraging us to stay focused on the finish line. WHO are these witnesses? The previous chapter names some of them. They are people of FAITH that the whole world knows about: Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses. The stories of these men are EMBEDDED in our minds from our earliest Sunday school classes.

But besides these world famous people, there are people not known to the world but their STORIES are just as important to you and me. Those believers in our family who have gone before us. And look up there in SECTION M, next to Moses is Grammy and grandpa MacDonald, there’s Gram Butler, there’s Uncle Bud, and look there’s mom and Dad.

Wait, there’s a person coming around the last corner headed for the finish line. It’s Jean!!!! She is on lap 36. She has crossed the finish line. But wait, she is not stopping to rest like she usually does. She’s running faster. Now she’s sprinting. Look at her go!! She’s jumping into the clouds. She’s pushing her way to section M. Mom’s got her arms out. They’re embracing. Mom says Welcome HOME, Jean, you have solace and peace here. Hallelujah!

We have that great PROMISE that we CAN be with that cloud of witnesses. Its good to… What? Jean is yelling something to us.

She says she had no trouble RUNNING through the clouds. She went as fast as she could go and didn’t need anything to help her keep her BALANCE.

What? she says she can SEE perfectly. Images are so sharp now. 20-20 vision. She had no trouble finding mom and dad.

What? She says her MIND is clear. She understands everything now. And yes, she even says she can remember all our BIRTHDAYS again.

The Great Physician has taken away Jean’s physical limitations.

I think Jean would agree with the following poem you will find written in your program.

Death is nothing at all,

I have only slipped away into the next room.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name. (Energizer bunny for those at the track, Joe to some of us, or my little angel to others)
Speak to me in the easy way which you always have.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be the household word it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort.
Why should I be out of your mind because I am out of your sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,somewhere very near just around the corner...
All is well. Nothing is past, nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before,only better, infinitely happier and forever we will all be together again.
Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)

Jean now knows the joy and peace of being HOME with god,. Scripture gives us great COMFORT that the Lord is also with us in our daily struggles on this earth. The 23rd psalm talks of the good shepherd watching over his flock. Let’s read the 23rd psalm.

Could we have a moment of SILENCE while we each reflect on Jean’s life and then I will close with a prayer

Prayer
Lord we thank you for Jeans life. We thank you for the good times we had with her , for her devotion to family, for her unconditional love. As we see her childlike qualities, It helps us to see how you want us to be. I pray that each person here will cherish the memory of Jean and what a sweet gentle person she is. I offer this prayer to you in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Amen


Reception:

This picture was taken the day before Jean passed away. I was rubbing her arm and she surprised us when she said in a very strong voice "Paul, what are you doing?"